yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
