And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize