I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
