Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Randomize
