Ambien. No doubt about it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
