He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
