i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
