While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
