we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
