Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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