The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
