Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
