I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
