We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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