Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
