Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
