just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
