what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize