quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
