You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
