I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
