I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
