my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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