I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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