I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
