The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
