My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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