I bet he comes in French.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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