So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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