So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
