i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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