At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How external is "for external use only"?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Randomize
