let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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