OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
did i walk over a car last night?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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