As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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