i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
