Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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