hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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