Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
