if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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