Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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