Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
