I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
