What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
