I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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