And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
