then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
