Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
