Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sorry about my life...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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