Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize