omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
