I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
