i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
barbara walters just said penis...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
