some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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