Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize