Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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