Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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