so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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