isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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