Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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