If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
