You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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