the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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