New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
