I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize