I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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