If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
