I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize