My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
