How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
